2020 Vision

J.Z. Ellis

This work appears on page 7 of Holy Nonsense 2020
First published: Facebook

Transcript

2020 Vision – by J.Z. Ellis – Idea for a reality show: every season we take a bunch of jackasses on Facebook who think they have easy answers to how complex or difficult problems should be solved and just let them do it with absolutely no training or experience. “Why don’t homeless people just get jobs?” Alright, asshole, you’re homeless now. None of your friends or family are allowed to help you. You have what you have on you right this second. Aaaaaaand…. go! “If black people just did what cops said-” Alright, I’m just gonna stop you there. Just this one time, we’re gonna make an exception for blackface and do you up like C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man, and put you behind the wheel of a very expensive BMW in Birmingham. At night. Driving home through a white neighborhood. Gonna raise your hands, are you? Gonna do everything “right”? Hahahaha, yeah. “I don’t mind people who come to America as long as they do it legally!” Alright, cabron, we’re swapping your passport for a Guatemalan one and dropping you off south of the border. But this season’s twist is: we’re sending your spouse and kids with you and if you don’t make it across 100% legally, you get shot or we starve you to death. And not just you either. This sounds like a really fun game, especially if the person doesn’t know they’re going to be playing until someone shows up at their door. I like this show. I want to see this show. I would absolutely be RIVETED TO MY TV SCREEN.

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