Something Happened

Something happened. – A moment of clarity from Con-Troll – Sadly I didn’t give those words a minute of thought, but still, aft er a night of heavy drinking, I was sitting on a bus, intoxicated and heading home. A situation way too familiar to me. Like I’ve literally been in the same exact moment multiple times in my life. But this time, instead of just thinking about stuff or staring at the void, I tried thinking forward. Step into the future,through the bus ride, a short walk from the stop, opening a door, walking up the stairs, entering my apartment… And then what? If I made that decision on that split second I stood on my doormat, I would’ve probably just continued the loop. Open a tv, fi nd something to eat, pass out, and whatever, but as I had a whole bus ride to think about it I came to very diff erent conclusion. I’d instead decided to put my phone to charge, drink water, and go read a book. I have no idea how long this is gonna last, but since then, being less than 10 hours ago, I’ve had this feeling I always “know” what I’m doing next. While going through an action, I can decide the following actions for as far as my memory lets me. After that everything has felt like a continuum. Not just isolated moments shattered across time with no way to travel between them. I know most tend to call this phenomenon planning, but hell, it feels like magic to me.

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